Quality Time

Open Book BH

This week on the Blog Hop, we’re talking quantity vs. quality.

For the first few years we were married, my husband and I worked different shifts. I would work an eleven hour shift starting at 7 AM and ending at 6 PM, and he would start his shift at 10 PM and get off at 6 AM, so when I got home he was asleep. That left us an hour or so to see each other, basically just passing one another as we left for work.

The weekends were when we really got to spend time together, though not as much as we wanted because his sleep schedule was thrown off by the night shifts. I learned then that the small amount of time we got together was far more important to us than if we’d seen each other all the time. We made the most of it, going on dates to the movies or museums, or sometimes just walking the trails. Even though we only spent a few hours together it felt like all we needed.

Now we both have a normal schedule so we spend more time together, which feels great, but the lessons we learned from our crazy ships-in-the-night schedule stay with us. We make the most of every minute we’re together and though our marriage has had some very rocky times we are stronger every day.

Quality over quantity has also become my mantra in my writing. Sounds funny coming from someone who is currently flying through a first draft for NaNoWriMo, but the book I have in production right now, The Detective’s Brother is a bit longer than my planned second book, Framed. I have to remind myself that every story doesn’t take the same amount of words to tell and that what’s important is to have a nice, tight story instead of a rambling mess that makes the reader lose patience with me.

In general I do find that quality in my life is more important because we don’t have a lot of money so we make the best of what we have. As long as I have my husband, my stepdaughter, and the time we spend together, I’m the happiest woman in the world.

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6 thoughts on “Quality Time

  1. I remember those days. My husband worked the night shift and I worked days. We had Sundays together and Friday and Saturday nights when I would nap when I got home so that I could be awake when he got home so we could spent a couple of hours together. Our time together was precious and we learned the art of doing things without one another. Both have helped us going forward in our lives.

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  2. I think, sometimes too much, that marriages who survive these weird schedules are the better for it. My parents have been married for 45 years. They started out the same. My new neighbors make me smile, because it’s the same for them, and somehow I know it will be good for them. I think it helps you get used to the married thing. It keeps you longing for one another. and it ends just in time that you don’t grow apart. (or it should have.)

    Good luck on NaNo!

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  3. We started out in a similar way 35 years ago. My husband worked 2 days straight through night and day and then had a day’s rest (but I was at work for most of it), before doing the same all over again with weekend evening work thrown in too. Luckily for us he managed to change jobs!

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  4. Rebecca, my husband and I used to work opposite shifts too and I know exactly what you mean, you learn to make the most of the time you have. Very valuable lesson for everyone.

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