S-E-X is A-OK

Open Book BH 2

This week on the Open Book Blog Hop, we’re talking about sex!

I have never been what people would refer to as a prude. When I was in high school and had to change clothes with the rest of the girls during marching band season, I was the first one to strip off. Whenever I go for a massage and they tell me “undress to your level of comfort” I ask them if they want my panties off or on. It doesn’t surprise anyone I know when I tell them I write romance because they know how I feel about sex – it’s awesome.

I’m what you’d call a sex positive person. As long as it’s between two consenting adults and no one gets hurt, I see sex as a good thing. It can and does bring you closer to your partner, even if you’re not in a relationship, because you share the deepest and most intimate part of yourself with them. If you’re a person who is okay with sharing that with multiple partners, that’s fine with me! I’m more the type to save it for a single partner, something I’m sure my husband is glad about.

As a romance writer, I tend to focus on the relationship between my hero and heroine when it comes to their having sex. They rarely jump into bed just because they have a spare half-hour, it’s usually something that comes naturally in the story (even if it ends up being quick and dirty). I don’t throw in a lot of sex scenes just because I feel like it’s expected of me, I let my characters do what feels right to them, just as I encourage real life people to do.

That’s not to say a romance writer needs to write sex scenes at all! I’ve read several sweet romances where the main characters don’t have sex at all. Everything in those was romantic gestures instead of expressing their feelings sexually, and I found them just as satisfying as steamy erotica.

The most important thing about sex in any form is to stay within your comfort zone. If you’re not comfortable watching, say, Game of Thrones then by all means turn off the TV and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. By the same token, don’t shame anyone because they like watching it! What I find acceptable may be vastly different from what you find acceptable and I wouldn’t dream of forcing you into my mold. The things I do dream about…well, maybe I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Last week I told you about P.J. Fiala’s latest book, Danny’s War. She’s written others in the “Rolling Thunder” series too!


You can buy them separately or together on Amazon and while you’re at it, pick up Danny’s War too. Hot guys and motorcycles – they’re like peanut butter and chocolate!

Want to share your feelings on sex? Join our Blog Hop!
1. Link your blog to this hop.
2. Notify your following that you are participating in this blog hop.
3. Promise to visit/leave a comment on all participants’ blogs.
4. Tweet/or share each person’s blog post. Use ‪#‎OpenBook‬ when tweeting.
5. Put a banner on your blog that you are participating.

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6 thoughts on “S-E-X is A-OK”

  1. I like it when someone realizes that there are differing points of view on some subjects and that those POV can be equally valid. Sex is one of those topics. Who I am in my bedroom is vastly different from who I am in the world and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I also don’t feel the need to force you to see it my way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I let my characters write their stories. So far, they haven’t needed me to reveal their bedroom secrets and I’m good with that. Who knows, that may change in a future book and I’ll have to deal with it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree with Lela.

    People always ask if I plan out my books with an outline, but how could I let them decide what their story is going to be? It feels too contrived, in my opinion and that will really show in sex scenes.


  4. I love this blog hop, as you get to read blogs from people with differing opinions. As a girl in school I would have been the last one to undress for PE. I’ve also never felt comfortable wearing a bikini. Oh dear, what’s to become of me!

    Liked by 1 person

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