I’ve been pretty silent recently, due mostly to the fact that I’ve been a little depressed. As I said before, Booktrope’s closing has been really rough on me. Without resources to self-publish The Detective’s Brother, it leaves me with no books available to promote or sell and no means to go forward self-publishing on my own with any degree of professionalism. As much as I would like to put out my own work, the fact remains that I just can’t afford it.
Our family’s circumstances have changed dramatically in the months since Booktrope closed, and part of the reason I went with Booktrope in the first place was because I didn’t have the money or resources to self-publish on my own. Now that we’re in an even worse place financially (temporarily, I hope!), I’m stuck with a lot of work that may or may not ever see the light of day.
I do have a couple of publishers I would like to submit work to, but to submit Detective’s Brother to them I need to have it free and clear from my Booktrope obligations and right now I don’t have the money to do that. I’m looking to submit Turn the Page to a small publisher as well but I need to finish editing it first. I’ve got so much to do and zero motivation to do it.
It doesn’t help that I see friends who have been able to turn their Booktrope titles around and self-publish them having success because I know that if I had the money to do what they have, I might be in a different place. Instead I’m back to where I started before I was ever picked up by the now-defunct Sinnful E-Books.
I envy people who say they’ve never considered giving up on writing. I’m not saying I’m giving up, but this is the sort of thing that makes me want to curl up in a corner and never touch a computer again.
I’m tired. Just tired.