Look at that beautiful medal. I love it so much and the fact that I am likely not going to be getting it on Sunday is kind of breaking my heart.
In a fit of pique, I had a little bit of a moment on Facebook. I am not humblebragging, fishing for compliments, or looking for people to tell me that I can totally do it. The simple fact of the matter is that at my current pace, I will be on target to finish in about 6 hours and 15-20 minutes. That’s well outside the 6 hour time limit, which means that beautiful medal won’t be going home with me. You can tell me to think positively all you like, but you can’t change facts.
After my hip injury this fall, I had to take a lot of time off from training and with my new job and schedule I’ve had to change my whole workout time around. I’m still getting used to things and after an hour commute home I’m a little fried. All of this added up to leave me at a pace I’m kind of embarrassed about. I’ve never been the fastest runner but this is a new low for me. I’ve accepted it, though, and know what I have to do to improve.
Unfortunately I won’t be able to improve in the next two days. I have hope that I’ll be able to finish in time to finish the Cowtown Marathon in February, but as for Sunday it’s not happening. As a result, I’ve gotten a little depressed. Every race week email I get makes me a little sadder. Everyone is so excited and ready to run their best and earn their medal, and I have to try to accept that no matter how hard I try I just won’t make it. It would be super easy to bow out and blame it on the car accident I was in on Tuesday, but I’m trying to use it as a learning experience. It still hurts a little though.
Tomorrow I start the drive to Houston. I’m going to be so happy to see my friends but I’m also preparing myself for disappointment. The best I can hope for is not to be carted off the course in the bus. See y’all on the flip side.