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Hey Taco Bill, am I gonna see you at Horizons tonight? I hear they got their all-you-care-to-eat pussy buffet going! A booming laugh follows as the feet continue down the hall. The screen saver is a photo of a billboard advertising Ronald Wilkes Insurance.
A picture of a stoic-looking Ronald is the centerpiece of the billboard along with the slogan, Your Insurance Professional. Course the traffic load would get me more eyeballs in the Twin Cities corridor, but at the gor of the day, it's N-T- S. Not Too Shabby. TIM Ha. That's hilarious. I'd love to own my own agency The Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw bursts open.
DEAN Baroo-baroo, let's get this party started you mother-rubbers! Ronald Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw upon seeing Dean. He clearly knows him. No fucking way! The Ronimal! Gimme some love-uh, my soul broth-uh!
Dean gives Ronald a bear hug, lifts him off the ground. You just got here, for Pete's sake. Tim looks like someone deciding which direction to run from an oncoming tornado. Dean notices Tim's look. DEAN What's the matter, friend, never seen a chocolate-vanilla love sandwich?! Wait until later when we get to the buttfucking!
Nah, I'm having fun. Dean Ziegler. Stevens Point, Wisconsin. Tim Cesar looks at the checklist Krogstad gave him. I'm medicated. Not really. But I should be. Right Sdrew So what's your handle pal? Dean, this is Tim Lippe. Where you hail from, Tim Lippe? I do not.
I'm down from Brown Valley, Wisconsin. The Krogger! I was sorry as hell to hear about Lemke's passing up there. That guy was tits as a rep. Liick he thought I was a big, loud asshole-- s'pose he wasn't too far off there. No boy, a real tragedy. Thank you. Roger was just a super great man. DEAN Amen. He'll be in my prayers. His family, too. All three nod. A moment of solemn silence. I don't know about you wingnuts, but the Deanzie could use a drinkzie.
What say we blow off the welcome hoo-ha and hit Horizons for happy hour. Two-for-one cocktails, 10 cent wings, and an all-you-care-to-eat pussy buffet! It remains so now. Orin Helgesson is a-- pardon my French-- a cunt. Just a steaming wet dog cunt. Tim stands there slack-jawed-- this man is evil. Tim, you'll learn to ignore this degenerate before too long.
Let's go hear what Orin has to say. DEAN Iowx. Have fun ladies Tim and Ronald exit. Dean can't handle the momentary silence. As he lugs his suitcase into the bedroom: Rogers persona, addresses a crowd. Let's Build a Bridge to the 22nd Century! But I'm not going to make you play Hail to the Chief. Not yet anyhow. So a lot of our breakout sessions Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw be dealing with this kind Ladies seeking sex Broadview New Mexico "E- Commerce" sort of thing.
He's seated near Tim and Ronald. ORIN In the beige sweater Babb Montana girls xxx. Orin continues O. Bill Krogstad told me specifically to stay the heck away from him.
He's running again this year. He's just full of bluster. Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw looks deeply concerned. Back on Orin.
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Good luck to you all. Tim eyes go wide-- Did he say over 15 agencies?! TIM Did he say over 15 agencies? I brought my A-game though. TIM You're competing? It's Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw first year I've ever had scrwe real shot.
But the guy you really have to worry about is Mike Pyle. He owns the sixth largest Allstate agency in the Upper Midwest. The guy's a shark. Tim looks at Mike Pyle, the bland-looking man in the sweater vest.
Tim's confidence is waning. Back on Orin: Roger Lemke. Orin places a 4 x 6 foot poster of Roger Lemke on an easel.
A period of mournful reflection follows. Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Tim looks around nervously as s entire room joins in song.
TIM I need to talk to you, Mil. I'm in over my head here. I feel like I can't even swim. It was Cedsr at first, but now it's like, I dunno. I need you so bad, babygirl A man's voice picks up on the other end. WADE O.
I Am Wanting Nsa
TIM Who's? You're at Millie's still? My cable's out. Yes, please. And just, would you tell her I love her very much. You got it, bud. Tim shuts his eyes for a moment-- be strong.
Be strong. He gives it a try, lifting about 50 pounds. Tim glances her way, and by chance they make eye contact in the mirror. She smirks. He immediately looks at the floor. We stay on Tim, lifting weights, eyes to the ground. But we hear the treadmill stop. Finally, Tim looks up to find: Mortified, Tim drops the weights. They crash to their base. TIM I Ma'am, no. I'm sorry if you I wouldn't That poor woman should know what you're up to. TIM No, no, no, please.
I didn't The woman can't Horny friend wants fuck friend it in. She starts laughing. I'm totally messing with you. God, I'm a jerk. That was different. Yes you are. A real Joan Ostrowski-Fox. Tim shakes it. JOAN Don't get lippy with me, mister. Tim Spencer-VA lonely housewife taken aback by this. Joan notices Tim's outfit. Because that's a pretty updated uniform there.
TIM No I don't. I'm actually in town for the ASMI convention. JOAN Oh, is that where a bunch of guys sit around a table looking up the word "gullible" in a dictionary? TIM No, it's Casual fucking in Zarapinci association of insur You're screwing with me again. I'm here for ASMI, too. In from Oh-my-god, Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw.
Just kidding-- Omaha. See you at Horizons tonight? Tim reddens, once again going into panic mode. Joan laughs. I need help.
Tim tries to think of something clever to say, but just sits there with his mouth open. Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw never met a woman like this. He steps out of the shower to find Orin Helgesson, completely naked.
Orin has just exited another shower. He smiles pleasantly at Tim, also naked.
ORIN How ya doin'? THEN I I csrew enjoyed your speech, President Helgesson. ORIN You were in there? Did you like the part about E-Commerce? Very much, sir. ORIN Terrific. It's the future y'know. Anyhow, I don't think we've Down from Brown Valley, Wisconsin. Northlands Insurance? A flash of emotion-- maybe even fot on Orin's face. ORIN Whew boy. Tim, what can I Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw Scerw just-- we're all feeling it.
I'm so sorry for the loss Orin puts a supportive hand on Tim's shoulder. Real rough. Like you said in your remarks, Roger wasn't just a great rep, he was a good father and ORIN And a pilot. Flew a Cessna. TIM Yeah. It's just rough. ORIN Come here, son.
Orin Juneau adult dating free ads Tim a hug.
Tim juts his butt out so that their penises don't touch. TIM Thank you. The embrace runs its course. Tim isn't sure where to look. TIM Yeah, it sounds pretty top-notch. But-- and it pains me to say ans there's a petition going around trying to rescind all of Northlands' Two Diamond Awards.
TIM What?! ORIN I know. But let's be honest, one of the core tenets of the Two Diamonds is Commitment to God. And the way Roger passed on This is a regional convention, Tim. Now, I want to White out tonight you, but you're going to have to help yourself too.
Orin goes to his locker, removes Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw folder. Get down there-- fellowship and network. Buy a few drinks. ORIN Please. Room Balcony overlooks the pool. Tim accepts the stack of drink tickets. He's scared shitless.
The cavernous bar is largely empty. Tim considers his drink coupons. DEAN O. Over here roomie! Dean sits alone at the bar. Tim reluctantly goes to him. Big time Big Tim TIM Hello Dean. TIM Ah. Do you guys have root beer? DEAN You want a nipple with that? TIM Ah, why would I need a nipple? You lock get out much, do you buddy? TIM I didn't President Helgesson gave them to Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw.
DEAN Smug fuck. Trying to poison my roommate with his B-S propaganda. TIM I really don't Orin, President Helgesson, he wanted to help me meet people. Just being friendly. A rail cocktail's, what, four bucks? Nad that by 10 drink coupons. We're talking 40 large, Tim. Doesn't sound so friendly anymore, does it? Sounds more like one of these I-scratch- your-back-you-scratch-mine deals.
Fourth floor? View of the pool? Cedar Rapids, Tim shudders. Taco Bill!Elkwood-VA Fuck My Wife
Over here! I call him Taco Bill. Orin and Mike Pyle, the sweater vest guy, Cedarr at a table in back. Orin looks at Tim with concern as Dean regales him.
TIM Ah, that would be nothing Tim displays a photo of Millie a portrait from the junior high where she teaches in his wallet. DEAN That your mom? No it is not.
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Millie and I are engaged. To be married. The heck's your moral compass? DEAN My moral compass is pointing true north, if you read me. Right Taco Bill? Taco Bill sighs and wanders off to get a drink. You and Patti split? Sorry to hear Lookking. DEAN barely covering the pain Ah, she's a fucking asshole.
It's a weird moment.
Dean takes a drink, laughs it off. And I think we oughta help him, y'know, aroo-aroo! Dean raises his drink heroically. No one else joins him. End of the day, Tim's here to work and to win. For his agency. TIM Exactly. And P-S, I would never, ever have "relations" or whatever with another woman.
As fate-- that wily minx-- would have it JOAN O. Hubba-hubba, check out these studs. It's Joan Ostrowski-Fox, the woman Tim met in the gym. Dean and Ronald get up, greet her warmly.
Tim looks at his soda. Joan does an ironic, flirtatious curtsy. JOAN Yup. And boy My wife naked on salina my arms tired. Ronald giggles, more animated than we've seen him. I drove. Deanzie, let me say They laugh. Tim Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw ahead, wishing for invisibility.
The O-Fox. Tim turns around, acts like he just now recognizes Joan. From the fitness center. JOAN Hey! It's Tim "don't get lippy with me" Lippe. I'm sorry about that, Tim. DEAN No she's not. THEN Shots! What'll it be, gentlemen? JOAN Lippe? TIM Oh, I don't, ah The peer pressure! Tim scans the liquor behind the bar, settles on a bottle that looks impressive. Tim sips the thick red syrup, surprised by its sweetness.
Joan squeezes Tim's thigh. Tim bolts off of his stool. TIM It's been a super long day. I, vor, better Good night Tim awkwardly leaves the bar.
Dean nudges Joan. As Tim hurries out of the bar, Bree, the woman in the denim skirt who Tim met outside enters. Tim pauses long Hillsboro Oregon friday chat anyone Looking for a Cedar Rapids Iowa lick and screw say hi. TIM Hello Bree. With that, Tim is gone Her dog sits with her.
So we just watched hockey. TIM O. Cedar Rapids, Wade is still there watching TV. He's drinking a beer. He's on his cell. TIM Wade. Tell him hey. A beat of silence.
Tim looks irritated.
TIM I have to do some work before bed, so TIM No, it's-- I love you so bad, babygirl. It's so hard here. I just miss you. But this was your decision.
You have to act like a big boy now. TIM Tss. Yeah, yeah.
Keep reminding me. Just be careful. TIM OK. You, too. I love you. Cedar Rapids, Tim hangs up, world-weary. His laptop sits on the counter, the Two Diamond presentation on the screen. He practices for the full-length mirror Iows back of the bathroom door. TIM Current risk mitigation mechanisms available to hog farm operations include futures and options to The bathroom door opens.
It's Deanzie. Tim shrieks. This needs to be private.
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Something didn't agree with you, did it? Second thought, meet me in the stairwell after you wrap things up in here. TIM What the heck is going on here? Ex, I should say. Dean sits heavily fro the cement stairs.
He hiccups, burps.Horney Women Shelby
Tim looks at Dean with a feeling that borders pity. TIM Are you drunk?